This is my 4th summer
alone..
with my children.
I cannot honestly
even remember
the first summer...
I was so broken..
so un nerved by what
I had been through,
and that year is a blur.
However, I healed!
I discovered that I was not
broken beyond repair..
and I began to plan.
Over the next few summers
we have gone to the beach,
the nick hotel,
a cruise..
we have been horse back riding,
and go carting!
and this summer
included a train
and a trip out of state...
Each trip is purposeful,
it takes planning,
it takes budgeting,
it takes saving,
and extra work.
It has been a choice
to not drive a better car,
or buy the extras
or save it all
for a rainy day...
and in my mind;
its so worth it!
There is much
I cannot give my children,
but I can give them memories,
and experiences.
I can also give them ME!
On vacation,
they see a side of me
that they normally do not get to!
On vacation-
there are no dishes or chores,
I am not running to or from work.
I am not worried about their homework,
or life choices.
I am just 'ME'..
They see my silly side,
and the side that gets a little nervous
in new places.
They see me navigating maps
upside down,
and getting us out of close calls.
They see my strength,
and they see my weakness.
They get to know ME
just a little more-
we laugh a little more,
and play a little more...
and they can file away the memories
that one day they will share
with their kids.
And no matter what,
they are moments frozen in time-
forever theirs.
forever mine.
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