Sunday, May 20, 2012

Define me...

I realized recently
that I am no longer defined
by being divorced.

I was..
for a while...
I hated when people
'was I married'...
'what did my husband do'..
In social settings;
I knew it was coming!
Going into places was hard,
I felt the desire to tell everyone
why I was divorced,
who I used to be!!
I felt defensive..
I felt discarded.....

And then..
I defined myself by being single.
I noticed wedding rings,
and couples!
I was aware of my freedom
and also my aloneness...

And now....
I am defined by who I am!
Not my state of being.
I have friends in my life
who have known me through
each stage..
and friends in my life,
who have only known me
in my 'unmarried' state.
I rarely bump into people any more,
who knew me then...
and who ask because they did not know!
and when I meet people
and the subject comes up,
I am OK with it!
I am divorced!
I am single!
I am just me.
A single, working, busy, children raising, Woman!

It has taken time..
there have been many bumps!
But, I am in a place
that made MOST of the bumps..
worth while...:-)

Friday, May 18, 2012

The taste of HOPE

Hope has a taste..
it has a smell..
it has a sound...
it has an emotion...

HOPE is the moment
you realize
that MAYBE just maybe
you might have a future..
a chance..

Hope is NOT about a person..

it happens when you,
and you alone,
that you, and you alone,
are OK..
but that you are also
to not always be you, and you alone!

Hope is the moment
you taste
and smell
and hear
and feel...
the prompting that says
"its out there..actually out there"..

HOPE is NOT about falling in love..
or meeting someone...
Hope is not about what is...
hope is about what might be.

Hope is the unknown..
when the unknown stops
looking so dark!
is in whats waiting.